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How to Help Your Foster or Adoptive Child Make New Healthy Friendships This School Year

As the new school year begins, one of the most important aspects of your foster or adoptive child’s experience is building healthy friendships. Friendships play a crucial role in a child's emotional and social development, offering support, companionship, and a sense of belonging. However, making new friends can be challenging, especially for children who have experienced instability or trauma. Here are some strategies to help your child navigate the process of making new, healthy friendships this school year.


1. Encourage Participation in School Activities

Involvement in extracurricular activities is one of the best ways for children to meet peers with similar interests. Whether it's sports, music, art, or clubs, these activities provide natural opportunities for social interaction and teamwork.


  • Help your child choose activities that align with their interests.

  • Attend school events together to show your support.

  • Encourage them to try new activities to expand their social circles.


2. Foster Open Communication

Create an environment where your child feels comfortable talking about their day, their feelings, and their social interactions. Listen actively and offer guidance without being overly intrusive.


  • Ask open-ended questions about their day and their classmates.

  • Share your own experiences with making friends to provide perspective.

  • Validate their feelings and offer empathy and support.


3. Teach Social Skills

Some children may need extra help developing the social skills necessary to form friendships. Role-playing scenarios and discussing social situations can help them understand how to interact with others positively.


  • Practice conversation starters and ways to join group activities.

  • Discuss the importance of listening, sharing, and showing empathy.

  • Role-play common social situations they might encounter at school.


4. Promote Positive Self-Esteem

Children who feel good about themselves are more likely to reach out to others and form healthy relationships. Help your child build self-confidence by praising their strengths and encouraging them to pursue their interests.


  • Acknowledge their efforts and achievements, no matter how small.

  • Encourage them to take pride in their unique qualities and talents.

  • Support them in activities that boost their confidence.


5. Arrange Playdates and Social Opportunities

Facilitating opportunities for your child to spend time with potential friends outside of school can help strengthen these budding relationships. Arrange playdates, invite classmates over, or organize group outings.


  • Start with short, structured playdates to make the experience positive.

  • Plan activities that your child and their friend enjoy.

  • Gradually increase the length and complexity of social interactions as your child becomes more comfortable.


6. Model Healthy Relationships

Children often learn how to form relationships by observing the adults in their lives. Model healthy, respectful, and supportive relationships with your friends, family, and community members.


  • Demonstrate active listening, empathy, and effective communication.

  • Show your child how to resolve conflicts calmly and respectfully.

  • Engage in community activities and introduce your child to your social network.


7. Support Emotional Resilience

Making friends can sometimes be a trial-and-error process, and your child may face rejection or conflict. Teach them how to handle these situations constructively and remind them that it’s a normal part of developing relationships.


  • Discuss coping strategies for dealing with rejection or conflict.

  • Encourage them to keep trying and remind them that making friends takes time.

  • Help them understand that not every interaction will result in a friendship, and that’s okay.


8. Collaborate with Teachers and School Staff

Maintain open communication with your child’s teachers and school counselors to stay informed about their social interactions at school. Teachers can provide insights and support to help your child navigate friendships.


  • Schedule regular check-ins with teachers to discuss your child’s social progress.

  • Share any concerns or observations about your child’s social experiences.

  • Ask for recommendations on how to support your child’s social development.


Helping your foster or adoptive child make new, healthy friendships this school year is essential for their emotional and social well-being. By encouraging participation in school activities, fostering open communication, teaching social skills, promoting positive self-esteem, arranging social opportunities, modeling healthy relationships, supporting emotional resilience, and collaborating with teachers, you can provide the support and guidance your child needs to build meaningful and lasting friendships. Remember, your encouragement and involvement are key to helping your child navigate the complexities of social interactions and form the connections that will enrich their lives.

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